Last Farewell...

Talkin about farewell...lets put it into this way...one night i was just sittin at home at about 7.00 pm....just listenin to sum songs and chattin wif sum family members...suddenly i get this call...from a very familiar number ...hmm...i wonder y this fella is callin at this time ...it was ebbe...my best friend...so i picked up the call...and said hey..yeah...he was like hey ..man...how re ya...and while we were chattin...he asked me to go through some songs in youtube...yeah..i did check and i found out they were quite emo...i understood that he is going through some emotional rollercoaster ..at that moment...

So i advised him to chill around and..listen to some cheerful songz it would make him feel better...then i hung up....and i continued to mind my own business ...suddenly again i got a call from him about 20 minutes later...he sounded a little eager...about going out that particular night...and i was about 7. 20...and he said he will be there to pick me up at 7.45....if he could not pick me up...another friend of mine vicky would...pick me up..and we would go sumwhere...to chill out..

So i quickly got dressed...and was ready...and waited for him to come and pick me up....so i called him and asked hey ..where re u..he said Vicky would come pick me up...and i had to go to the main gate....then came Vicky to pick me up...

I asked him where re we going cha..and he said..

.gardenz dei..i was like i have a curfew at 11.00...he was like ur diggin ur own grave..man..hehex...and we reached gardenz...today i waz a lil enthusiastic as maybe it might be a the last time im gona meet them as i have to be back to nilai soon to continue my course in my higher learning institute.....so we wre joking around....had dinner at Kenny Rodgers...and..it was already...9.20...and we had a movie at the signature at about 9.05...=p

So we ...deiceded to go o signature and Vicky left....i was havin two seats to myself..a.nd i was practically sleepin on the seat and watchin the movie..=)...

The movie ended at about 10.50...and my curfew waz at 11.00...and my dad knowing him..sigh....started callin me ...i was like yea dad im on the way near di...dont worry...we were basically running out of the theatre after the movie ended...we ran down the escalator...and into the car...and ebbe...was driftin with his avanza...gosh....we reached bangsar in just like 5 minz..haha...and yeah...before i could close the door he waz acceleratin...but teh door managed to close...=p..

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Maybe this might be my last farewell from my closest friends before i go to nilai...and go through 3 weekz...and finish my public examination....but whatever it is..i know that their prayers..and blessings will be there for me ...all the time...thx guyz!!

Preparation for Diwali..

Hmm...well letz c....today i wanna talk about Diwali...which is the festival of light..which signifies the death of the evil king Naragasuran by the god of protection Krishna..y he was killed??...hmm lets c...as i have studied and have learnt...he was a very cruel guy...who used to kill innocent people...and do all the evil acts...and..the climax was he pulled a gold ear ring of the mother of the earth...hmm gold ear ring!!..gold is not cheap now =p...so lord Krishna..as a protector..of mankind...killed the evil king...and brought daylight to all Hindus...so we celebrate it as a festival of light to signify..bightness have reached upon us..by the death of evil...=)...this is the simplified version..=)

As i woke up today i saw my bro...and my mum was preparing for diwali...where i saw them making the traditional...cookies..which was the muruku....my bro was..preparing it and my mum was frying it...i don’t really know y...do they do murukus...for diwali...but it sure tastes good..=p.

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Hmmm...i felt bored...so i decided to join in too...=)....where i also...started doing the muruku ...to help my bro...as he was doing it for the past 2 hours...hmmm...actually...it needs a lot of patience and strength too!!=)...sheesh...my hands were dead pain after that...

At the end of the day...my mum was made about 300 pieces of murukus...sheesh!..they have been continuing this practise for many generations...hmm..cool...so i think i should continue this ...to my generation...and it should remain as a tradition in the family to celebrate diwali....and now its makan time!!!=)

*Copyright Reserved© NaViN’s Creation 08™*

Friendship

Im sittin by here at this time of the day thinkin ...what i have gone through and what i have..in life...the...the most prominent thing i find now as a permanent thing in my life is just my best friends...yeah....im..missin them a lot...where today...i met ebbe...who is my bestest friend of all time....we went to HELP college...and ha a little chat...and...we agreed that...we weren’t catchin up...as much as we did last time...hmmm...so...we planned to have a get together...tom..which will most probably be going to pd.... ..in order for that to happen...satya..have to take the earliest bus...frm ipoh...and...ebbe..have to...withstand all the naggings from his mum.. =).

Let me recall...how i got to know ebbe....it was back then...when we were 16....one fine day...i went to school...carrying a huge load of clothes...because...that day..i have been selected to represent my school...for a discipline convention in pulau pangkor where all the expenses is taken care by the government...and it waz a 4 day trip.....so i waz kinda excited tho.... then....later after the assembly was done...three cars with me school discipline teachers escorted me to the pusat kokurikulum kuala lumpur. Where there i saw...a huge crowd..gathered...uniform with many different colours...and i waz one fella there alone...thinkin gosh am i gona spend the rest of the 4 dayz..like diz..being lonely??....

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Then suddenly...i noticed a guy standin at the coner of the gate...where he was lonely too...i decided to start a conversation with him...where at the end i found out that he was from the school where my principle used to be in....we just got a long quite fine....then...slowly we became...good friends...and shared the same room...in the convention....and...became close by then....i can still remember the times we used to do the wackiest things in the convention until..the instructor...had to chase me and sum guys around the resort we were stayin...hehex.....yeah there wa

s a time where i was lookin at something so interesting...a teacher was patting my back..i didn’t know...and tot it was ebbe...i was like wait la dei....in a harsh way...and again the teacher patted...i was u don’t understand English ar dei...u peice of shit....and i turned to

be dumfounded...to c the teacher standing there...hehex...

After the convention...there was a long communication cut for both of us....where one day he called me for a convention get to gather thingi....then...slowly we became...close again...where two of his closest friend became my closest friends too....im just contented with...them...we worked together...we ...share ou

r life stories with each other....and...be there for each other in times of sorrow...and share each other happiness....

Names ill never erase frm my heart and memory...is ebbe....thushendra...satya...and alex....everytime....ill think this....if anyone i know....hat leaves me and..go....u guyz will be there for me..

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*Copyright Reserved© NaViN’s Creation 08™*

One Day In Iraq

Many of us take for granted everything that is around us. We take for granted the food we eat, the house we live in, heck, even the hot water we use to shower. Many of us take for granted everything that is around us, and for that, we are not thankful. So we complain, We say life is not fair… we say " life is not fair! why does he get a Ps3 and i’m stuck with a Ps2…". Because of this, we forget how lucky we are. Even the most worse among us. And so we become slaves to our desires. Chasing the things that makes us even more unhappy. Many of us neglect or reject the idea that each and everyone of you, and those who know you, and those around you, are infact, one of the most lucky-est people on earth. But we forget, and we neglect, so we are not thankful.
Imagine being in Iraq for one day. Or any country that is ravaged by war, poverty, sectarian violence, daily bombings, and a divided goverment. Imagine being in the shoes of a normal iraqi citizen.Imagine all the basic necessity in life are not available. Heck, a stroll out for some fresh air could be fatal, because of the danger and violence, your life is never secure. Imagine knowing that and having that feeling when you are about to sleep. Think of how scared you would be. You are so scared you cant even sleep. And still, even with all of these things, most of iraqis consider themselves lucky. LUCKY!!. Here we have an iraqi whos very life is missarable, but consider herself to be lucky, and everyday thank God for everything that God has given her. And then we have this fella, who has a perfectly good house, good family, good school, and FOOD TO EAT, says that GOd is being Unfair, and giving everyone else the good things. Complains…
Just take A DEEP Breath. TAke IT! Then take a good look at the things around you. And then ask yourself, is life really that bad?

In Iraq, bombings, violence, deaths, happen daily. It happens so much that they are used to it. It happens so much that they are prepared for it. And so, everytime any of them go out of their houses, they would say their loves to their family, knowing that this could be the last time, they would see their family alive, or vice versa. Everyday they see children dying, blood, violence, Car bombs… And everyday they are thankful, and consider themselves lucky that they are still alive. They would try to make the very best of their days, making sure that they would live through to see another sunrise. To every iraqi, Everyday is a battle to stay alive, Yesterday was a victory, tommorow………………………….. Food is hard to get, the occupation is increasing the violence, everyday there are riots, and guns go about ablazing. Imagine being a Father or a Mother with children in Iraq. How would you feel knowing that they can never have a good childhood, education, comfort, a FEAUTURE. How would you feel that they could never play in the park to have some fun because the fear of death. How would you feel, when your five years old child, asks you why do people die, why all the violence, where are all the friends and family members? Imagine that. Imagine, that child of yours, only a few years old, or even a few months old, dead, and you are holding that child, whom you had hoped for, whom you had plans for, whom that you had loved with all your heart, gone, in an isntant. And despite of all this, Many Iraqis consider themselves lucky, many of them are thankful, with what God has given them.
Many of us take for granted off all the things around us. The field we play on, the Mcdonalds in your neighbourhood, the school that we go to. Many of us forget that we are truly lucky. And for that, we are not thankful.
*Copyright Reserved© NaViN’s Creation 08™*

What if i...

Hmmm...today...it has been a very tiring day as i havejust reached the city of entertainment..it took me 8 hours to drive up and downthe peninsular...just to meet some of the people i know...i once knew...and nowknowing...=)...yeah...as i am sittin down here in my hotel room i begin towonder what would i be if i did not forget her*....how would my life benow?....would i be still...sittin down in the dark...mourning about themistakes i have done?...or blaming myself for the mistakes which made herdecide after 6 painful months of waiting...that i was not the one meant for her......hmmmm...yeah...wouldi have chosen the path which was socially prescribed as immoral..and play withinnocent heart’s feelings?.....what would i be now?...would i have gotten thesame results for my high school certificate? would i have gone to a town knownfor its peacefulness just to meet the seraph which i assumed that is the rightchoice for me...hmm..would i be in the same higher institution?.or even worse.Would i be doing the same course im doing now?.....what would i be now?...iwould never know....how would life be...if i had not made the decision toforget her*?....hmmm... but in a way i must be contented with what i have done...because...whatever happens happenedfor a reason...because if i had not forgotten her *, i wouldn’t have made a lotof new friends...=p...yeah take it in a positive way...and of all the friends iwouldn’t have met the person that i have met in a gathering...thememories....with that particular person was...different...y?..hmm...i just foundher character different..it was like a person letting u to do anything else aslong s ur sincere her...in the beginning as all the relationshipstory...goes...both of us had the same enthusiasm..the person had evenintroduced her mum to me ...and even told her mum that im her special one...but...yeah...iwas sincere at first...we were very much alike and we thought everything in asame manner...but towards the end there wasn’t the chemistry anymore...idecided to end and move away.. Butyet again what if i didn’t end the relationship?...whatwould i be now?....would i be going trough misery i have never expectedto gothrough?....hmm...would i get hurt and become more volatile as neverbefore?...hmmm...would she go for other fellaz....thinkin that theywere theone at the end to find out that they weren’t...hmmm..would she havegoneagainst my say that the guy she is nowindulging in a relationship is not a guy who is meant for her??...andat lastfinding out in a very harsh way..that he is not the one forher??...would wehave become best friends now??....hmmm..Then moving on my life i took abreak...stop..all my immoral actions and focus on other things inlife...afterher...then..came a day as i was browsin through the net..i came acrossa cherubwhich i thought waz different than anything before...but i (knowingme=p)...didn’treally took it serious...and...just..maintained a normal pace withher...butone day a message came from the cherub ...what if i had lost myphone?...orchanged my number?...or even ignored the message?...would i be who i amnow?...hmmm...i wonder...but yeah...once again wadever happens happenedfor areason...the cherub thought me a lot..i mean a lot...shaping me into adifferent person than i used to be teaching me what is the real meaningoflife...what is the consequences if a person’s ego is too thick..not toforget..thehappiness...and haha..not forgetting the pain and sorrow too=p...yeah..but..anyhow. she apologised 4 whateva happened as she don’twannahold grudges or hate or hurt ny1 and she felt no point haing as shedidn’t feelright coz all that would accumulate sins and unnecessary karma..shedecided she wanted to live her life widot anygrudges n ill emotions....i should thank her..maybe because the god inher havemade her decide what is right for her..at least now she have..made herstandand made things right..and clear where i think she is contented withthe guywho she is with now.....the feelings is still there deep down myheart...but..fate..is not there to c us together...but yet again wedecide ourfate... In the future..fate would make me find a soul which was reallymeantfor me...maybe she is near me but I’m not realising it...maybe i knowher...ormaybe i don’t.....or maybe she is far away from me and I’ll meet her when the time comes...therefore ill leave it to the fate to decide when i wouldc the rightperson...to fall in love with and cherish the person foreternity....hmm...letsc....it’s already 10 am....it’s time for me to go and enjoy in thetheme park...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...hehex...anyhow..I’m contented with what i have gone through and what i am now...=).
-Adapted from a life story of an anonymous soul-
*Copyright Reserved© NaViN’s Creation 08™*

God,in my point of view......

God,what is god?..what makes u think he controls everything in this world?...whatmakes u think he is the one who created us?...what makes u think that he is theone who created the universe?...and most of all what makes u think god is ahe?....These are the few questions which have been running through my head forthe past 6 months until now but i have never spoken out about this.....if thereis someone out there which is assumed as god who is believed to controll everything why he is not seen?....what made me really wonder about theexistence of the almighty is where ,for an instance when a man gains somethingout of his own effort and endurance he says ‘thank god’ but this is totallyopposite when he loses something or something totally horrible happens to himhe does not blame god instead, he blames himself!...why is this so...i mean does this mean that god only does good things to u and u do all the bad things or u do all the mistakes?...and he is supposed to be in command of all thethings happening in this universe...hmmm..i wonder....Besides, why do u think god is a he?...or maybe why do u think he is humanlike ? my question is i do believe that the universe is very wide and there is great speculation that there exists other life forms in other planet and universe does god look like them? Or like us?..hmmm...Now i have just onesimple believe which is god is mankind...confusing huh...yeah..god exist ineach and every one of us...because we decide what we should do...wheresometimes we listen to what the heart whispers...and think before we do...if wechoose the right path a good force is within us...and we choose the wrongone...a bad force is within us....there is no use going to worship places...every day of the week a but in the real life do nonsense..According to thebig bang theory...which states that a force have triggered the atoms to collideand a chain reaction...till the creation of universe...some people speculatethat the force is god....but what makes u say that the force is god...

why GOD and not something else...y cant it be known as force XXX..or YYY..etcetc.....in my point of view....u do...something wrong blame urself...and if udo something right thank urself and not someone else or somethingelse...religion , rituals....etc etc..is create by mankind to encourage peopleto do good..therefore mankind is god...god exists in everyone of us....it’s just what we choose to do...determines whether we’re godlike or devil like...

we all come from a common ancestor...therefore i don’t believe there is a separate god for every race....race is something created by mankind too....we‘re all onerace which is mankind...and in each and every one of us ...exists aforce..Which is positive and negative...it’s how we are able to balance it...determines our character...i believe .where there is no such thing as anexternal force known as god...and we worship him or her as a superior power,instead believe that there is a force in each and every one of us which isgodlike....I’m not an atheist , as a matter of fact I still go to my place of worship and a ‘guru’s‘ devotee as i believe that someone could lead u to theright path and realise the god in u...why i go to worship places? I respect my ancestors effort to unite mankind under one roof to do good...which was raceand religion...but...i believe that god is a force..Which is in each of us... it’s just how we use it....
-This is my personal opinion, it was not meant to discriminate anyone’s faith towardstheir religion or race-
*CopyrightReserved© NaViN’s Creation 08 ™ *

Lost Love

The clock struck 12 am indicating a new day had begun..sigh..i couldn’t believe that the day had actually had arrived as i still feel it waz like yesterday it happened, the day i realised i would get to spend the rest of my 8 months with my love, the day i realised she is only mine and , the day i felt contented with what i have committed myself into….it waz a day i felt that god had blessed me with an angel that would be with me in the times of sorrow and happiness..an angel which would be there with me till the last molecule of oxygen leaves mybody….i felt as though i waz surrounded with love when she is near me…thelove i could feel deeply in my heart…..i felt i waz deeply in love when herwhen i waz with her….in return..i showered my angel with love..the four lettered word L O V E is just too small to describe the love i had towards her….there waz one point of time i felt that she was the one born for me….idevoted my life for her…and only her…i could not forget the days i wouldrun to the nearest grocery store to buy a handiplast for her if she had a smallcut….the days i’ll do her project work..the days…i would…stand up forher….the days i would bring her to the clinic..if she had a slightest fever…the days i would run to her homeland just because she misses me..but..now….theangel turned into a demon..which strangled me…,pulled my heart out from mybody and…pierced it with a a weapon that would kill even the strongest man inthe face of the planet….the weapon which only she could use and lookin inocent..the weapon which made me…fall into the pool of torture…and she was a pro in using this weapon…no one could use it better that her..as shehad a lot of experience in using…it…towards ppl…before…as i was herlatest…victim..the weapon which i meant was.. mendacity…just puremendacity….she did it so well…until i was convinced that…i screwed everythingup…..but i still cant stop wonderin y….It all began on the 17 the of march..the day…i took a step into the college..and a leap in my life…. persuaded my parents to send me to this higher learning institute…although knowing that the course that i am enrolling in is not my thing…for her i devoted mylife….to something which soon i would learn that it will all end in vain ….y?…ygal y?..wait! Y boi y?…i still wonder…the days we spent together the songswe sang together….the day came u told me that i made u forget ur painful history…i was everythin to u….and ur world revolves around me….ur love towards me is too deep until it could sink the city of New York in half a day…and again i wonder y..u left just like dat..y gal y?…..theycame…opened my eyes…with ur history….but i still…had the faith inu…but…i was returned with accusations that did not really had the truelove….and i did not trust…my angel….and again y?…i wonder…..soon..ibecame volatile as i witnessed with my very own eyes what others had beentellin about u….i purposely acted weird… towards….to..u….i ignoredu…but in my heart u were the only…i cried… with sorrow….i didn’t wanna ask u…as i know u would defend ur self…by shoutin and accusing…me of nottrustin u..u had the vocal power and i did not……i kept it to my self…i reminisced the days i used to come to ur place…with a little amount of money….and ..just to spend a little time with u and return at dust……theday came u ended everything…leaving me to wonder…what i have committed tillu would leave me…i begged…went to the merge of fallin on u feet…but utreated me like a dog……u said..u don’t wanna get into relationship…but the truth waz the other way around…u had already found ur substitute…yetagain u were tortured with silence..pure silence..makin u come down to earth asu were flying too high with ur self proclaimed ‘im Famous’….only my savioursand me know what re u famous for..u were tortured..till u in the merge oftextin me to accept u back…i wondered y?..i waz really confused..but i foundout that u were just doing it to make me talk to u….am i some kind of atalkin machine to u gal?…i said no..no NO! as i realised what ppl will call u…by u makin ur PDA with another fella then getting together with me…whatwould ppl call u?…worst what ppl will call me??.. As i know that very night ..u got togetherwith ur substitute…ur claims that he is sweet..then u should spread him on abread and eat him for breakfast y u tortured my life …..i had my revenge….yeti still came down…gave u a choice asked u to tell the truth..if u had told methe truth i would have continue being friends with u as i have emphasised manytimes that u were different and special…but u were adamant….took ur standthat ur illness were the only cause ure avoidin me….but y gal?…i would haverespected ur decision and would happily think that he had something i didn’tactually have….u dug ur own grave by sendin me the text message u suppose to send ur friend…which made me figure outeverythin………………………………..today it had already been 4 months since the very day i had set my foot into this institute….my life had changed…..although the memories u gave were not much but they were too sour..and short lived..im still waitin for…the day u would shut ur mouth and let me tell u what what is in my mind…….although u disgusted me in many ways…ur actions… in the institute….made me wonder what had u become gal?..….y??..just the question keeps playin on my head y??..arent u a gal…owh i forgot that u re not a gal…as gals would have self dignity..unlike u..who dosent…..…i would preserve my self dignity..by not going down to urlevel and tell ppl ..about what we did…and what u did before dis..u re just a waste creation of the almighty…..

-adapted from a life history of an anonymoussoul-

Copyright reserved © NaVinDraN™ 2008

Distressed Soul

It’s a mixture of both.

I am done with everything ( Or maybe not ) And seriously, i don’t want to bring up any sad memories/stuff right now. Yes, i can’t deny, i am devastated. But i am trying to question myself, what exactly is the best solution to this.Didn’t realize how much one could affect another. Don’t ask me anything rightnow, cos i won’t reply. I tried forgetting you, to let go of everything thatmade me happy being with u. Well, i thought i could, but i was wrong. I needsomeone, someone who can hear me out, understand what i am trying to bringacross. I want u now, and i want u to know that i really need u more thananything. I really can’t stand every single second thinking u re no more in mylife. I don’t want my heart to split into two, please no more. Thats not the kindof feeling i want to get. To think that we started off, nice, sweet. I felt thecomfort back then. On the other hand, some asked me to go and fight forit. I won’t lie, i tried. But it was useless. This is a game, achallenge to me. But whatever the result it, at least i know, i’ve failed.
Yesterday’s ,was a total crap. I’ve no idea what’s the footstep, what’s therhythm. I am devastated it’s over. I am distressedthat the term is over.
I’ve no idea how am i feeling right now. I don’t know how should I feelright now. All i know is that i don’t feel right, and i just know it. It’sheavy, real heavy this time round. It’s not you, it’s me. Everything. Just me.Though i don’t really like to be so emotional, but i can’t stop this round.I cant let go of everything that i’ve been trying to cover and hide all thesewhile. How i wish i can stop the world, and change every single thing that’swrong.
Okay, i am going to stop everything. Stop being a bastard, stop lying tomyself, most importantly, stop being an asshole. Soon after i end my post, letspray hard that i’ll be fine.
Goodbye, i can’t produce anything more, my brain’s not functioningproperly right now.